revolution
is a one eyed horse
who thinks he sees
the all
and follows only
what he sees
unable to perceive
the circle
for the slightest changing
of the ground

if you want an evolution
you have to open
both your eyes
and follow the path
beyond what those eyes see

you can drop your shit
in the circumference of a pattern
revolving like a carousel
that keeps the people riding
for the promise of the token
of a brass ring
they are never meant to reach

or you can set out
to find
what lies beyond the hills
of how far we have dreamed

but to see the path ahead
you must open
the blinded eye
that can see the evil
in the good
and recognize the saint
was part a sinner too

you cannot turn your ass
only to the black
and your strong eye
to the white
because the path of evolution
is a twisting trail
within the spectrum
of the greys

I was just a girl
when I found out
the hard way
that I belonged
to no one

but somewhere
between the images
of fatigues and cigars
came the rising
of the power in a voice
I could not understand
that whispered just beneath
in my own alien
and native tongue
that I could belong
to the people
still

and then it became my truth
and the only dream
I had to ration
to get me by
so that every step
connected back to that one path

I am no longer a girl
and somewhere
I got lost
so that I stopped
belonging
even to myself

and if you can't stand
for yourself
you can't stand
for anyone

you told me that

when all my inspirations
and heroes
are stepping over
to the other side
and the clock has come
to strike
the now or never time

we are the prayers
our ancestors have sent
cloaked in the wishes
of our own children's hearts
and carried over
into this world

if not us
then who

we are the poets now
and the ones
who must decid
the measure and the weight
of what we'll contribute
to the ongoing
of the evolution

and it all begins
when we claim back our voice
and learn to understand
that we belong to everything

and it isn't in redemption
but through the sacred
of connection
that we stand our strongest
when we can remember
we were all born
to this place
belonging not only to
but also of
the people

my heart retreats again
from this reality
defeated as something
that waited too long
to breathe
not knowing it was stillborn
before it reached
to meet the light

there is only a hollow now--
a dark and unceremonious
cavern of memorial
for what
cannot be remembered
anyway

and somewhere in a dream
the ghost of the heart
dances
with the ghost of optimism
that followed
on its heels

once the flower
that waited too long
to drink
until its mouth
shrivelled closed
and it could drink no more

now the lips that lick
the shine of stars
and drink the dew
perspired from the moon

somewhere in a dream
where how to love
need never be forgot
as unnecessary to it all
as how to drink
or breathe
and yet everything
that birthed the light
of Creation into life 

I didn't set out
looking for the answers
when I have always known
the the world
rests in delicate spin
on the axis
and the precipice
of the questions
that we each must ask

do not paint for me
landscapes and portraits
gilded in the simplicity
the romantic plaster
over the texture
of the truth

but baptize me in
the bitter waters
that flow with mud
and too much wine

and submerge me
to drowning
in the questions
that have stolen
your peaceful nights
and wakened you
to dream
nocturnal and burning
beneath the stars

bury the illusion
of the manipulations
that have been conjured
of the tricks
my mind can make

and let them sprout up
from the seeds
of something
humble that grew
from dark

bearing the fruit
that only makes me hungry
for more questions
to the questions sowed
by all that has been asked

when my life
should be a lover
that leaves me
naked and seduced
back to the only answer

which is

what I came to ask

dance
when it's time
to dance in the snow

there were nights
when the crickets
made symphonies
and nights when the leaves
whispered poetry
as they sailed
to their death

but look
how the streetlight
makes falling stars
of every flake

and before the feet
a fresh canvass
where the language
of movement
is paint

and destiny is a thing
that will be hidden
by other tracks
and one day melt away

but the dance
will dance itself
far from that place
before it is muddied
and loses the quality 

of the crisp in the soft

and all that will matter
of the moment
the sky snowed stars
was how we danced
for the contribution it made
to where the dance
is danced in the now

the flag
is a spotless sin
hiding her crimes
parading as the sacred virgin
who infects the population
with the vd
of her pristine
and fascist pride

rallying men beneath
her skirts
just to watch them
kill the men
beneath another

when the blood of Sand Creek
can tell you
where the stains are hid
and that her faithfulness
is a lie

while she whispers
her excuses
to blinded lovers
that they should rip
the children
from the earth
even as they suckle there
so she can find the room
to spread her fattening ass

while Africa starves out
waiting for the circumference
of her berth
to bring the peace
she promised

and those without her favour
or a lover to call their own
are chased from one whore
to another
trying to find the mother
who will take them in
their children drowning
on her doorstep
for the illusion
they came from
some arbitrary
and disfavoured womb
that takes the credit
for Creation and the Source

and yet it is a crime
to burn
what scolded Nagasaki
to the ground

what has turned
the children in the holy land
to ash

what erased the memory
of civilizations
in the name of gold

a piece of cloth
woven in genocide
and greed
and decorated
with the entrails
of all that freedom
is at heart

what is sacred is
and what is not
must call on wars
to protect
the illusion
that it is not
a greedy 

and jealous
whore

you're like a penny
I carry in my mouth
waiting for a rainy day
something that keeps me
tongue tied
but it's a perfect day
to be batshit crazy
so why the hell
let reality
fuck with the dream
I don't live here
and I don't live there
I just sorta migrate
in between
like children who lose
their home
never know
a home again
but only plateaus
that they can explore
and when they are older
they learn to forgo
the necessity
of taking food
to hold the hope
of the nourishment of luck
between their teeth

sometimes in the fog
there is sensing
that something sacred lost
has taken form
yet irretrievable still
across the bridge
too narrow
for anything but song
and light
to pass

and dream gets left
to dream
yet wide awake
and ever nocturnal
in the heart
and silence mutes itself
with patient observation
that erupts only
as the star
that sometimes falls
to fall in love with wish
or the sea that hides its cry
in the song the waves have sung
for the one that crashed

I have adored you
these centuries
never as the muse
that is grateful
to the canvass
but on the other side
of things
the ghost of shadow
more than the paint
the hand might one day
bring to life

I have loved you
as the inspiration
I have drawn to breathe
with the fragrance of you
always spilling from my lungs
in these only words
that maybe
will find their way
across
the bridge
I cannot cross

talk about building walls
well the most ancient
one there is
is the human shield
the system makes
of the entitled
and disillusioned class
so that we gotta fight our way
up through their parades
to get to where the problem is

angry white aggression
with a bad case
of mistaken identity
for the oppressor
and the oppressed
because it's just too easy
to kick the cat
or beat the wife
or raid the displaced
wintering in tents
for their crime
of stealing the air
that waves some
pseudo-democratic flag

rallies against blacks
or rallies for LNG
or rah-rah with Wahoo
like colour or culture
makes anyone inhuman
and global markets
and world resource collapse
are really on the heads
of anyone asking
for a little water
that isn't wrapped
in plastic first
but anyway
back to the game

and the nationalist wall 

just gets thicker

the us and the them
them with their fists
and us with our arms open wide
and across the divide
they say we aren't
evolved enough
to make a choice
because love always
looks like a handicap
to the wounded
instead of the cure

and history tells us
what happens
when we take on the wall
where new leaders
so often emerge
from our ranks
leaving the us
to be absorbed
as our own human shields
for their new found elite

so let the poets
up to the front
because the only chance
we've got
is to absorb the them
into the us
to turn fists
to open hands
and not let open hands
close into fists

darkness never extinguished
a single light
but light has always
paled the dark
even as a pinhole
in the sky

there are cracks
in every wall
let them build it
and we will disarm
brick by brick with light
until nothing but illumination
stands between us
and the architects

if they can exploit
a human shield
from the wrong dreams
gone wrong
we can rebuild the hoop
with right dreams
gone right

These Emotions Will Not Be Assimilating Today

the river of apologies
has run dry
my eyes are mutated
with cataracts
from too many Hallmark cards
decked in Gandhi glitter
and some kind of
Dali Lama wisdom on the side
packaged like a latte
made with the same appropriation
that makes a third world
become a trend

give me Steinbeck
or Bukowski
but let me feel
this disillusionment
like a train wreck
on Tobacco Road
at five in the afternoon

if you take away
my depth of dark
you extinguish
all my stars
with neon light

I have nothing left
I can be sorry for
and no more shame
for shame

we have to see
the impossibility
left us in despair
to understand
the miracle

when it arrives

when how does anyone
truly love themselves
and think this is OK
to expose the spirit to

and still
has anyone ever
really known their soul
only to miss the gifts
in every day

I am sad
because I love

this disappointment
wears me
hooding both my eyes
and yet
I do not forget the beauty
of what is naked
underneath
it all

I don't know what year

but somewhere out there

on the road

I became a ghost

trapped

in a decomposing body

that listens too often

at the intersection

of perpendicular 

and time

travelling somewhere

my feet can't be

fractured between 

the here

and there

my heart missing in action

somewhere

even I can't find

marking time

dancing with the pretty

and the light 

far beyond the fingers reach

and all I have left

to get me by

are the stories 

that make a person's 

lost child cry

with neglect 

of their own humanity

and my need to see the ones

whose hearts have not deserted

like partisans gone 

in the middle of the night

and never coming home

still young and far too old

the way fascism

forges the poets into tribe

the dimensions cannot contain

with feet on the ground

and fists in the air

rotting around their spirits who cry:

we only wanted to love

what the fuck 

are we all doing

here

Strange that this should come a few hours before I heard of Cohen's ascension. After I read it back I had The Partisan stuck in my head. Was the song in my head when I read the news. 

the men and children are sleeping

but the mothers are crying tonight

like Weimar mothers cried

like Yugo-mothers cried

and the drug of fanaticism

sells better than Afghan poppies--

the addiction to the illusion of power

where a man can be a man

with the grab of a pussy

or the flip of a switch

or a hammer he can cock

as long as he stays a cog

turning in the machine

for the blood of our sons

for the fear they will take up this fate

and own it one day too

for our daughters we want to empower

but cannot protect

for the children who are standing naked now

without the cloak of privilege

tonight America seems asleep

but around the world

the mothers cry

those who rise
will have dirt
in their eyes
tears smearing to mud
across their cheeks

they won't be drinking Starbucks
on the way to hot yoga
repeating dollar store mantras
gilding lead from China

they'll be streaming
wifi from the Earth
that won't come clean
from underneath their nails
taking their messages
straight from god

taking them straight to heart
and flowing weightless
as the river
carries its own weight
but is fluid in its destination

you have to eat oatmeal
with your hands
or drink burnt coffee
filled with ash
or go days where the water
does not pass your lips

and that will change you
it will make you hard
but also soft for suffering
it will disjoint you
from the system
and force you to find the songs
your ancestors
have hidden in the earth
it will teach you
that joy can never be purchased
with the slavery of your labour
and your bonds

you will learn to dance
when your feet are hurt
you will learn to sing
when your voice is hoarse
you will learn to rise
when your knees are weak
because to do anything less
is compliance with the illusions
that separate us from our truths

those who rise will not be pretty
and antiseptic
and untouched
in their hearts
they will carry the wounds of earthquakes
and the cracks of parched
and starving droughts
they will hold mountains
that can't be climbed
and rivers that can't be dammed
they will leak mud from their eyes
but they will be miracles of beauty

they will sing
and they will dance
and they will rise

my darkness
is my medicine
every smile
a victory
each laugh
a concentrated strategy
to bring me to the moment
of being fully present
in the moment

some are born to the world
to carry joy
but others must weep
for the sorrows laid
upon the earth
with the mud of her flesh
embedded beneath their nails
clawing their way
from the trenches
toward the sun

those are the ones who know
the truth of joy
and the value and the cost
rooted in something deeper
than the illusion
of only part of what
this world can be

my darkness
is my medicine
and my choice to smile
and laugh
and dance beneath the sun
are where I am learning
the power
of just what my magic
was born to be

I always seem to fall
into eyes that can only decipher
from vixens and from saints
when I was born
already painted up in red
and all that I can be
in truth
is the celibate whore
with a heart of iron
gilded in the gold

because the world is so often scared
of what they really are
and what they aren't
and I never mastered tame
like the grain
that never sunk its roots
just to see what it could be
or the seed that spread its spokes
for the love of the wind
over the soil

but when I land
exactly as I am
I'll know it was Creation's will
that conspired to give me a place
to be yellow in the sun
having found my home
here inside my heart

I am perpetually scared
that what I want
could be real
and so I seldom
get what I want

I tell myself justifications
for myopia
like what I want
is to not be disappointed

but what is more disappointing
than dreams
that never come real

sometimes the amends
we must make
are for wearing the clothing
of ghosts
our naked truth obscured
in the familiar scent
of the perfumes
of the long long ago
and we can learn to sing
the songs that drowned in the seas
of their shrouds
or we can sing our own
but all that will reach the ears
are the echoes of before
and the best we can do
is offer the imaginary
of our imagined angel's wings
to comfort and heal
where the power of opportunity
has exposed its vulnerabilities
and hope we do not fall down
tripping on these dresses
that are not our own
when just because we dance
the same steps
does not mean
we are going where they
have gone

somehow the feel
of warm tears spilling
on my cheeks
got all mixed around
so that when
the tears come
in that torrent
of surrender
lacking in violence
like blood pouring
from a ghost
I feel baptized
in the rapture of love
for the times
since you ascended
I have cried that way
for you

what will they do next
build a ceiling
to the sun
to charge us
for the necessity
of the light

just like they've damed
the rivers
until even the bears
can't eat the fish
and mighty waters
whither to dying streams

just like they build
their walls
to keep men chained
without the chains
to factories
and to fields

and fresh air
becomes a trend
enjoyed as social pleasure
like grabbing a Starbucks
or a beer

who was born
with the title in their hands
to claim the moon and stars
or the water and the ground

how does one hold deed
to this Mother Earth
who gave us life
and will take it back
and be here still
one million years
after the hands of greed
have turned
to dust

water breaks us
into this world

nourishes these bodies
so our spirits
may touch the earth
of creation

creates sacred portals
for life to emerge
in our wombs

bathes us
cleanses us
gives us the gift
of tears
so we may heal

and when we return
to the other side
it is water from the eyes
of those who have seen us
who will break our birthing
back to home

we are water
flowing from our own
long journey
from ancestor
to descendant

carrying also
the energy
of those who came before
through to those
who are yet to come

cleansing our generations

resilience circumventing
resistance

breaking back always
to the birthing
of our spirits
in the flow
of their good way

it is the peripheral sense
of warmth
that cracks the hard shell
of the seed
and sets the the tender shoot
to rising toward unknown
emerging from the safety
of the soil
stem dancing in its prayer
toward the songs of light
offered by the sun

but what is left unseen
is what submerges
into deep
the courageous
and ever delving anchor
that gives the willow
its right to wings
and the roots
that weave the grounding
to form purpose
of the inspiration
to aspire to the flight

and every leaf
that quivers
every flower that offers up
its moist and open mouth
every fruit that swells
and ripens
under dreams of kisses
of the sun
does not give of itself
what it has not first
nurtured in the depth
of hidden realms
dancing its secret dance
veiled within the layers
of earth internal
cloaked inside the dark

if a lover has ever
painted you in honey

then you know what it is
to bathe in sweet

and if that same lover
has then starved you out
until pomegranates
turned to dust
and all you could do
was writhe in the hot sun
gathering sand
to the vulnerability
of your body
naked and exposed

then you know what it is
to bathe in betrayal

if then another
has tried to stroke your flesh
with gentle caresses
that only broke
the skin

then you know what it is
to bathe in your own pain

wait for the rains
they always come
even in places
where centuries pass
between

and learn what it is
to bathe in the cleansing of the healed

and when the last abrasive grain
has returned back to the earth

dress yourself in the perfume
of the flower of love
bloomed once again

pain is a poison
that sticks to the heart
and filters the eyes
so that whatever
we can't let go of
in the things we've left unsaid
cannot be cleansed
from festering in the mouth

but only wait in hiding
to ambush the first one
who penetrates the eyes
past what the automatic
brain receives
crouching
and ready to cut the throat
of the one to enter
the apocalypse
of our hearts

graffiti your grievances
in lipstick on your cracked
and fractured mirror

defile the virginity
of new paper
until it feels the carnage
of your pain
and the crisp white
is bloodied red

smear it
and tear it

baptize it's crucifixion
with your bitterest
of tears

exile it to the barrens
of a wasteland desert
where there are no witness
to summon its resurrection

burn it to ashes so fine
even the sand can't taste

but whatever you do
do not mistake
your opportunities
for release
by lashing the tender skin
of the one who creeps in
by chance
into the ransacked remnants
of the long abandoned home
that once housed the being
of your love

do not seek your revenge
or expect to find your healing
in play acting
with the innocent
by projection
and by force

singe your flesh
with the flames
of the incineration
of the demons you've ripped
from your own heart

expunge your eyes in kerosene
if that is what you must

then hide your scars
beneath crystal vases
filled with the flowers
grown from the excrement
of what you've shed
or hang the now closed wounds
up on your walls
displayed
without apologies

but whatever you do
be ready to greet
the gentle who wander in
as only what they are

and know because you have
set free the ashes
of what you never got to say
and because the wind has heard
and carried
those ancient wars away
you are free now
to sing new songs

to see with clear eyes

to move love
back into the empty walls
of the place you had to leave
so it may greet the truth
of the gift
of the one who has come
to make your heart
a home again

the need to reprogram
should not be confused
with the need
for self love
when the fault
in the calibration
is not a sign of what
we have lacked internally
but of what has been
extracted
and what has been
withheld

with the stress
of the external environment
being what brings us
to extinction
or catalyzes us
to evolve

so that the love of self
cannot be appraised
by external measures
of what we display

of happy
but rather only defined
by the resilience
in the heart

whatever it means
that happy is
I'm still here

the socialist heart
thinks that what it gives
of love
will be made up
in what it should receive

the totalitarian heart
uses love as a means
to exact control
and exert authority
on behalf of
the ego's desires

the capitalist heart
does not expect
an equal measure
of what is given
for what is gained
but wagers it can exploit
more than the investment
put up of its own self

but this heart here
is pure fucking
A N A R C H Y
free to love whoever
and whatever
it loves
without dependence
without externalized control
without being the prostitute
or the john

it was born to beat
and born to love

it has fought starved out rebellions
to reclaim this power
and the birth right
of its natural freedom

and here it stands
free of legislations
and restrictions
and middlemen

outside the realm of what
can be contracted
or imprisoned
or employed

free to love and shine
like a wild and raging

naked sun

what does not exist
is only what
has not been
dreamed

if I'm starved out
it is because
I have forgotten
where I left
my mouth

and miracles
are the moments
when the honey comes
to parts the lips
to taste
the tongue

when you die
of loneliness
you stay stuck
in the life
you were meant
to live

a ghost
unable to touch
or be touched

it seems to me
that life
is made up of
let it go
or
let it in
and how well
we manage
both

on a pilgrimage
to personal
mother fucking
anarchy
where I get zen
with the holiness
of the words
"no"
and
"fuck off"

some people want to use
your past against you

if that's all they got to reach for
it's a pretty big sign
they haven't got past
the point of making
their repetitious
over and over again
their past

at least my past
is in my past

there are no historical records
of Jesus from the time
they say he existed
which should
make one question
if he existed at all

but you know
who was crucified

the ancestors of Turtle Island
for refusing to surrender
their relationship
with the Great Mystery
and put their spirits
under the chains
of foreign and external
authority

just as the free thinkers
and women healers
and pagans
and heathens
in other places
and other times
before them

that's a lot of sacrifice
from your ancestors
and mine
which ought to be
properly weighed
against one son
of the definable God
who was so true
his servants must now
control you
for you to understand
his truth

whereas those millions

who were crucified

in one way or another
as undeniably the children
of the Earth and Sky
knew they were
Creation's truth

so if you say
you're decolonizing
but you're a Christian
you might have further to go
than you think

I think maybe
atheists who claim
to love surrealism
are either lying
about their relationship
with spirituality
or their appreciation
of the art

don't trust them
especially those hipsters
they covet obscure tastes
like groupies collect
rock star VD

there is a difference
in judgement
and in challenge
where judgement says
you are wrong
but I am right
challenge asks
how did you build
this foundation
how solid is it
do you think this beam here
might work better there
would this brick
I have to offer
perhaps improve its strength
so it can hold us both

the often alone
are never alone
but the never alone
are often alone

are we as humans so greedy
we willingly partake
in the lotteries of contrived
and stacked against us fates
eager to accept a system
that divides what was always
for everyone to share
taking the risk against
impossible odds
that leave us most often
confined to poverty
without the hope
of any emancipation
just to have our shot
at being a have all
instead of an I have not

or maybe it is arrogance
that makes us think
we're special enough
to claw our way
across that line
or that we deserve
to take more than our share
even as ours is being taken

or so insecure
we think we need a little more
to get us by
and show the world our worth

or is it the vulnerability
of being susceptible
to susceptibility
and the ways our dreams
can so easily be interchanged
with outside stimulation

when we could all
have it all
and still we risk it all
in a game that's dealt
from the bottom of the deck
for the chance to take
more than what we need
and leave the rest
with the not enough
of the dreams
our grandfathers had
that become the nightmares
of our grandchildren
yet to come

it seems to me
that some men
are of two kinds

those who cannot understand
the language of intimacy
without the presence
of sex

and those who do not trust
the ways that sex can turn intimacy
to the language of a trickster
to obscure the greater truths

so that some men must touch you
to feel love with you
and others can only truly love
what they will never touch

when sex medicine
administered on its own
is for those who have forgotten
how it is to really feel

and ethereal connection
in the absence of any more
is for men who fear the outcome
if they ever dared to touch

Inside Out

we're the outside kind
so you were disappointed
when I stepped in to dance
but I already knew it
before I laid my hands
upon that tree
and still it was where
I had to be
because sometimes
you have to step in to really see
what it is you're looking at
when you stand out
and you have to trust
that learning in the backwards way
comes more naturally
than dogma to our kind

I watched you watch me
for two days
above the coulee hills
even as I said
I was willing to let you go
if there was someplace else
you had to be
but you just stayed and danced
up there on the outside
not letting go of me

and on the third day
there you were
barefoot and dancing
by my side
and all that I could do
was laugh so hard I cried
like I had lost my mind
when we both know that crazy
is when you gain control
and learn to really see
and there you were with me
for only just one round
but so vivid I could see
with both my eyes left open wide

playing your tricks
the way you played
with the constructs of this life
you came inside to dance
beyond the ways
I carried you in
inside my heart
and we were there
in that sacred lodge
but gone
to some other ancient time
our own time
our own dimension
the way we always worked the best

and for us
no matter where we stand
inside has always been illusion
because outside is the only thing
that we can be
when our spirits decide
to loose themselves to free
and you danced me outside
to just the free
of the inside of our love
where my one inside to be
has always been
transcendent with the way
two outsiders learn to weave
their own realities
from the inside out
to outside in
in a dance of eternal love
that dances in and out
of wherever it wants to be

maybe before
we can really understand
just how good we are
we have to let go
of any ideas we have
that we have to be good
and what that all
should look like

maybe knowing your good
comes from being cool
with sometimes being bad
and losing attachment
to being either one at all
so you can just be
the way your spirit
is asking you to be

once in awhile
you'll fall in love
with someone
who is everything
that drives you crazy
and all the things
that you can't stand

but once in awhile
the truth is
you're really in love
with all those things
that drive you crazy
and the ways you are
none of those things
but subconsciously long to be
is where the origin
of the conflict lies

and what a shame
we go so hard
at the ones we love
instead of facing the fear
of what it takes
to change ourselves
and be the potential
of our authentic

beyond comfortable resistance

with the love of self it takes

to stand before our mirrors
and see what we are shown

what a shame
that once in awhile
we fall in love
with someone
when we are everything
that drives them crazy
and then so willingly
we surrender
and change
all the things
that they can't stand

look to where
your heart is drawn
then tell yourself
the honest truth
about who you are
and who you want to be

be that

and once in awhile
you'll fall in love
with someone
and they will
drive you crazy
with the ways
you are everything

that drives them crazy
and the mirror
will be a map
that charts the difference
between the destinations
and the departures

the inspirations
to make a change
or the reasons
to take a stand

I'm trying to live in the now
between whatever
alleviates the past
and whatever doesn't
fuck the future up too much

somehow I'm pretty sure
I haven't got that quite right
but it gets me by
for now