Thursday, December 8, 2016

I glided through the day
on the frozen tears
of the morning
(you know it's the warmest
that freezes the first)
and nobody knew it at all
but maybe you
who has not seen
the way I can hide
a dying heart
inside my smile

and in that
and in this
I have learned
what it means
to let it all go
scaring myself
with the emptiness
of the void
but more so
with what remains
and is eternal beyond
what the mind
can comfortably know

that some things
can be so deep
and still never learn to fly
when I can't stop myself
from piling the what happened then
and the what never did
on the wings of what tomorrow
had hoped it could do

I wanted to be like a child
with a violin and a bow
not yet making music
but learning with practice
and try
but it all went out of tune
the way it seems to now

every mistake
a wrong I can't right
defeated when the song
won't leave my head
and the notes remain sour
and elusive each time

so I am a skater
carrying the weight
of this person I've become
but have never known
with only this heart that still beats
and these eyes that cry
for the light of the stars
my foreign fingers
will never reach
with the limbs of the light
embedded in me

only my tears carry
the dexterity
to find the steps to the dance
of the way this song jumps
lonely and disjointed
from its unrosinned strings

I wanted to give
something it's wings
or at least my half to give
but today the cold carries
the echo of what happened
the day before this
coming back at me
from the other side
of one day after tomorrow

and I just keep learning
to glide
with these tears
to keep me warm
flowing as fast
as each of them freeze

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