the rising sun nudges my shoulder
then bounces back to greet me
through the rear view mirror
and you are in my bones
but you were never here
like no one ever is
and I am the friend only
of the miles and dreams
and all the inbetweens
when sometimes kindness is a stranger
because compassion hasn’t learned
how best to be familiar
and it all gets fucking hard
but the earth doesn’t ask you
to read instruction manuals
about yourself
but places her offerings in your mouth
until she opens hers
and swallows you with her kiss
back home
and what could I have ever been
but not-what-I-was-supposed-to-be
like when you lose something
and it comes back but not the same
and only half the way
to where it’s going to be
so potentials and pasts get held
as the means of measure
nothing in the act of evolution
could ever stand up to
and I had to choose
so I chose me
and that’s a solitary fate
but when the sun rises
I am not alone
and the love that could never do
just is
and blinds me to where I’m going
when it catches me with its reflection
glinting from the rear view mirror